Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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