I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
