while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize