There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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