No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
