She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
