So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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