Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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