After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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