Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
