Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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