He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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