Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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