Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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