You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
