I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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