Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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