just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You need a sexual gate keeper
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
