I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
