alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
