Pants 0. Shit 1.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
