U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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