So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
