Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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