She said her name was "party"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
