Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
