My hand turned me down
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
