My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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