I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
