hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
His nipple licking is glorious
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