She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I believe in your delicious
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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