I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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