Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
