I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Still dying that you shit outside
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
