whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
