Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
