i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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