The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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