how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
