I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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