Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
