I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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