Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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