The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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