just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
God I need to hump something, right now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
