I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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