sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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