Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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