but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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