i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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