Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
