not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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