she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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