So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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