a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
