6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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