She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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