she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
