So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
