OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
