Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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