even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
