yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
