Swine flu. Run for my life!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
