turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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