I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
