sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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