found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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