I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
